Bassic example for guys and girls friendships
This current series started with my initial post, New Year; New Types of Friends that suggests the turn of a calendar page is a great time to re-evaluate your friendships. To help you through that evaluation process, I now describe some history of friendships, some of which may even surprise you.
My hope is that this series will help you understand and overcome some of the barriers men have in making friendships. Later in this series, I’ll provide some examples of good friends in sports, literature, and entertainment. I’ll also wrap up the series with why good friends may not be beneficial —and why you need some GodBuddies to help you become a better man.
Ancient Theory of Friendships
My previous post on The Philosophy of Friendship explained that Aristotle distinguished three types of friendship in his Nicomachean Ethics: a friendship for utility, a friendship for non-sexual mutual pleasure, and a friendship of the good. Aristotle felt this last type is the most preferable since it results in living for a higher purpose.
I also explained that the Greeks defined friendships as having philia, a sort of brotherly love. Understanding how brotherly love is different than storge love (love shown to family members), eros love (sensual or passionate love), or agape love (unconditional love of God), is critical to emotional depth with your friends.
But now some more about friendships have changed over time.
Friendships in the Middle Ages
The early Middle Ages (500-1,400 BC) marked a period of economic and territorial expansion and the restructuring of secular and religious institutions. It was the era of the Crusades, Gothic art and architecture, the establishment of the papacy in Rome. It also was the birth of the university and education, the recovery of ancient Greek thought, and soaring intellectual achievements.
Friendships began to change as religious beliefs played an important role in a life centered on the life of Christ. This meant being united in the love and care of thy neighbor.
But during the 12th century, political, social, economic, and cultural structures were profoundly reorganized. Roman imperial traditions gave way to those of the established kingdoms in the former Western Empire. Friendship became a contractual link with utilitarian goals of economic and military support for political gain. During this period, the lexicon of friendship in Europe included diplomatic agreements; companionships of arms, and monastic brotherhoods, including amorous and sexual bonds. Friendship was reconstructed as an earthly relationship, not something centered on Christ.
Friendships During The Renaissance Era
The history of friendships for social and political again continued throughout the Renaissance era of 1450-1600. Men, in particular, behaved according to the terms of personal obligations owed to parenti, vicini e amici (relatives, neighbors, and friends). An individual was entwined from birth to death to a network of overlapping circles of personal associates, including relatives by marriage, neighbors, and friends bound by honor to assist and promote them in all endeavors.
The social- and private-self were the same. Friendship based on love and trust functioned properly. It was mainly a familial bond, a Christian love. It was a time of warm letters addressed to friends, where honest emotions about special relationships were revealed and discussed.
Later, the philosopher Desiderius Erasmus (1466-1536) coined the phrase amicorum communia omnia – friends have everything in common, which was a renewal of the ideas of Marcus Tullius Cicero in which you valued people not for what they give you, but because you find them a kindred soul.
Friendships During The Enlightenment
The Age of Enlightenment, a European intellectual movement of the 17th and 18th centuries brought new changes in concepts of friendship. During this time, the belief became that friends needed to be equal in order to truly be friends. No more political or personal gain was required. The sudden blossoming of trade and the expansion of empires. Literacy rose and more people became educated. The religious perception of friendship also shifted toward loving your friend and neighbor, and not expecting anything in return.
There were no sudden shifts in core understandings of friendships between the 18th and 19th centuries. Men viewed man friendships as the most fulfilling relationship a person could have. Their platonic relationships — a relationship of emotional connection without sexual intimacy, were the ideal. They had friends with whom they shared similar interests and who could help them in a time of need.
.jpeg)
Comments
Post a Comment